Friday, February 13, 2009

MEMORIES..........


I was remembering this time last year when so many events took place in our little family. Our close family and friends already know the events of last year and I was talking with my friend recently about what Mike and I learned from the experiences. My friend told me that I should blog about these experiences so that my children could learn from them(since I use my blog for my journal). I decided I would blog about it so that my children will learn these valuable lessons that Mike and I had gained. The circumstances involved the difficult time we had planning Tate's blessing, the death of my grandfather, and Mike being laid off at work(the same weekend Tate was blessed). We were originally going to bless our little man Tate in December, however, Grandpa and Grandma Green had planned a trip with their friends. Mike spoke with them about our desire to bless Tate and they would not be able to attend given their plans. I spoke to my parents about our desire to bless Tate in December and my parents encouraged us to just bless Tate, because my Grandfather's health was not good at the time and we were uncertain what January would bring. Tate was already 2 months old as well. Mike felt that he wanted his parents present and so we decided to aim for January. The spirit told me that we should just bless Tate, but I wanted to support Mike. The Friday before we were to bless Tate in January my mom called me upset and told me that my grandpa was not tolerating dialysis anymore and that they were going to bring him home with hospice. We cancelled Tate's blessing again. My parents had a strong desire to be at the baby blessing and given the circumstances, I wanted to go see my grandfather one last time. Our Bishop had expressed with Mike and I that it is our Stake's policy not to bless babies on non-fast Sundays, or we would have just scheduled a different time. So we aimed to bless Tate in February after a dreary January in which my grandfather passed away. My parents and my sister, Chelsey, and her family came the Saturday before the blessing in February. I still cannot express to them how much this meant to our little family. Mike and I have always strived to attend important celebrations in our families life's. However, we did not, and still do not, feel that other family members feel the same. Mike called me from Fidelity the Friday before Tate's blessing and told me he had just been laid off. There was no warning and we were both scared and devastated. I remember just sitting on my floor and bauling like a child would. Tate's blessing day came and we woke up to the worst snow storm we have seen since we have lived in our home. Mike said, "I don't care what happens we are blessing Tate today. He needs to receive a name and a blessing." Our Bishop called and told us that we would be able to bless Tate at home and church was cancelled. We blessed Tate here at home and Mike gave him the most beautiful blessing that I have heard to this day. It was nice and cozy, but it was noted to us and Dylan that other family members were missing. Those in attendance were my parents, my sweet Grandma,Chelsey's family, and my uncle's family. It was very hard and sad not to have other family members present to celebrate Tate's life. After the blessing was over, the sun came out and then it stopped snowing. We never did hear from other family members that day, which was hurtful. Mike and I cried after everyone left and we discussed what we had learned from the last 2 months. We believe that things in life happen for a reason. Here are the lessons we learned: That the Lord is always there when others are not, the importance of Priesthood in our home, to always follow the spirit and for the other spouse to be respectful of that spirit, that we don't have to strive to meet everyone elses demands and important celebrations in their life's, that our children are our greatest blessing and that they can be reassurred that they will always come first before all other plans, that Tate has a very strong loving spirit and the adversary was at work, and those that always wanted to be at the blessing were in attendance. I also told my friend that I learned that family members selfish desires were very apparent. I would also never trade one minute for the valuable time I was able to spend with my grandfather as he was leaving this life to meet our Savior again. Our marriage was strengthened through all these hard times and we learned to really depend on each other. We learned we will not base our future plans on other family members timelines, but will do what is best for our little family. We prayed alot during these times for the Lord to be with us and guide us and I had very harsh feelings toward certain family members, which I had to involve repentance. Even though it still hurts when I think about these times I have replaced my feelings with positive ones, like how beautiful Tate was, the blessing that he could be blessed in our home by my eternal handsome companion, and the love I have for my husband and parents. Mike and I were blessed, and when spring came Mike had a job which rewarded him significantly and has helped to advance his skills. I love you honey and I now that we can make it through anything, because we have done it in the past..........and that is what true love is about!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you posted this story! Thanks so much for sharing! We too have had to learn the lesson of not caring about extended family - some of it later on which only made things more difficult. I'm happy the blessing was a great strengthening experience for your little family.